How to..............

.............Kill time in office:

1) Check your mail every 30 minutes.
2) For better results, have as many mail accounts as possible.
3) For even better results, exchange long forwards between your mail accounts. Read the forwards every time and sit back and marvel at the astonishing coincidence

.........Look busy when your boss lurks nearby:

) Open an Excel worksheet and start typing formulaes furiously. Make around 5 'tch-tch' sounds every 20 seconds and end the minute with a satisfied smile, as if you just led a bloodless revolution in Siberia .
2) Pick up the telephone receiver and start rummaging your desk for the office address book and sport a disgusted look when you can't find it.
3) Find the address book finally, smile slightly less victoriously than in point (1) (as if you just found an address book) and strike up an imaginary conversation.

............stay awake in meetings

1) Always carry a notebook. I didn't carry one once and had to be woken up thrice by my boss.
2) Sport a deadpan expression and sketch a caricature of every other member in the meeting in your notebook. Specifically, try to make your boss look like mickey mouse-its haazar fun!
3) Interrupt when some bugger is trying to make an important point (while you're real sleepy) and ask everybody if they would like to have tea/coffee/iced tea.

Basically, this is all I've done the whole day.